JackelopeBreeder

Buenos nachos, muchachos. I have a modest proposal I would like to lay before the Open Borders Lobby for their consideration.

What if we really did need some sort of guest worker program? Wouldn’t all of us here want it to be a model of efficiency and fairness to all? Seriously, in the interests of diversity, multiculturalism, and similar nebulous sacred cows we would want every group on the planet to feel included. After all, there are six billion other people living beyond our shores, about four billion of whom have never done anything to make us want to offend their sense of self-esteem.

So how do we make it fair?

First, limit the guest worker program to the four billion folks in countries we haven’t wanted to drop bombs on recently.

Second, make each of these friendlier country’s participation equal to their population’s percentage of said four billion.

Third, make each country’s guest workers be spread out among all sectors of the economy. That way our own work force doesn’t end up balkanized by too many of any one nationality in any one field. If they send a farm worker, they also send a registered nurse; if they send a chicken plucker, they also send a chemistry teacher.

Fourth, any guest worker or illegal alien detained or imprisoned in this country counts against their home country''s quota for the duration of their sentence and until deported.

Sound fair to everyone so far?

Let’s make the late night arithmetic simple by pretending that we need 400,000 guest workers for whatever reason, over and above legal immigration. This is not to suggest that we allow an additional 400,000 each year. This is just 400,000 present at any given moment. If a guest worker returns home, their country can send a replacement.

India has just over a billion people or 25% of the friendly population, so they can send 100,000 at any given time. The European Union has about 12% of the friendlies, so they get to send 48,000 at any given time. Brazil, at 5%, gets to send 20,000. Pakistan gets about 17,000; Bangladesh, 16,000; Russia, 16,000; Japan, 13,500; Mexico, 11,000; Philippines, 10,000; Germany, 14,000…

You get the picture. Now, to be fair, there are some real tiny countries out there. Pitcairn Island (of Mutiny on the Bounty fame) comes in dead last with only about 40 souls. If we make the arithmetic too strict, some of these smaller countries would be waiting for millenia to be able to participate or limited to sending an envelope with some fingernail clippings as a symbolic gesture. So we save about a hundred slots for these folks in the fly speck countries.

So there you have it – the utmost in diversity and inclusiveness – and none of our friends in other countries can whine about not getting their fair share of the pie. I can already hear a chorus of "Kumbaya" welling up all around me.

Call me pessimistic, but for some reason I just don’t think this is an acceptable solution to most of the Open Borders Lobby.

Today is a bit somber in Cochise County as residents ponder the first anniversary of a senseless tragedy.

On the morning of October 16, 2004 a group of young coyotes tried the “high speed” approach to getting their illegal alien clientele north. This attempt ended twenty miles later when the driver lost control while trying to make a busy intersection at a speed estimated at 103 miles per hour. He ended up destroying his stolen truck and nine other vehicles, severely injuring 21 people – and killing six. Two of the dead and half the injured were local residents.

Nobody knows for sure how many illegals were in the bed of that truck; seventeen were caught, but people at the scene claim to have seen some disappear into the brush on the east side of the road. It was of little concern as there were a couple of dozen casualties in need of immediate care. Helicopters arrived from all over this end of the state; the nearest trauma center is seventy miles away in Tucson. Many victims were flown directly from the accident site to Tucson; others had to be stabilized first at Sierra Vista Community Health Center. A few ended up 200 miles away in Phoenix as Tucson reached its treatment capacity. Sierra Vista took care of an unspecified large number of victims with lesser injuries.

A year later, many here still look back with bitterness at this tragedy – not just at the deaths and shattered lives, but at the non-existent response by anyone in our State or Federal government or the media. The incident did rate a couple of paragraphs in the Tucson and Phoenix newspapers, but that was the end of any public awareness or reaction at the time. In hindsight, a story about dead and severely injured Americans with an illegal alien twist mixed into it would not have been considered politically acceptable just three weeks before the 2004 elections.

The wheels of justice are finally beginning to turn. The surviving aliens fingered the driver, co-driver, and the two coyotes who led them from Mexico. All four are jailed in Tucson awaiting trial next month. For unknown reasons, Federal prosecutors decided not to seek the death penalty, but all four face 60 to 75 year prison sentences.

Buenos nachos, muchachos. After nearly a year long hiatus with the Minuteman Project, Uncle JackelopeBreeder has returned to writing ridiculous screeds about the Illegal Alien Trails.

What follows in this blogspace will take many forms. Part will be local operational reports on the Minutemen and similar groups; part will be observations on actions by the Border Patrol; sometimes it will be a composite analysis based on several years experience as a mean-spirited-and-divisive-loco-gringo-armed-terrorist-vigilante-cucaracha here on the Arizona – Mexico border. Other times it may just be up-to-the-minute incoherent howling about stuff I see happening every day and night.

Allow me to also introduce one Luis Martinez, lately of the Mexican state of Puebla just southeast of Mexico City. I adopted Luis as my alter ego after coming into possession of his birth certificate and a few other personal documents and belongings he abandoned here in Cochise County, Arizona. I won’t call Luis a litter bug; a 200 pound kitty cat walked through the lay-up area in Hunter Canyon where he and about three dozen new friends were waiting for a ride north. His backpack was the least of his worries at that moment. Luis will serve as spokesman for a few friends south of the border who share what they know about how things work with the smugglers. For obvious reasons, they wouldn’t want me to directly quote them in print.

Little of the real story here on the border shows up in the media. Cochise County is larger than Connecticutt and Rhode Island combined, but we only have a few newspaper reporters (mostly part-time stringers) and no local TV stations. Reporting on incidents happening here tends to be shallow and haphazard – McNews at best. In many instances the stories are never published for fear of being politically incorrect.

I hope to remedy part of that with this blog, so watch this space. At the very least, I hope to put a human face on this problem -- one that our "leaders" will find hard to ignore.

To my fellow MMP members, keep those reports and photos coming in to headquarters so they can be posted. It''s great seeing familiar faces from past operations. I feel honored and privileged to have met so many of you.

In the meantime, it is a Saturday night with what looks like a nearly full moon – time to go inconvenience the turistas sin visas crowd.